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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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My nearest town is Ipswich (don't snigger. It's not a bad place and I'm very fond of it).
 
Probably the busiest road into the town is the one from the A14, Norwich, Cambridge and Bury St.Edmunds. Just as you reach the beginning of the town centre (at the junction of Norwich Road with Valley Road, if you know the area) there is a really scary-looking large-double-mini-roundabout-thing. Despite the constant heavy traffic, this works brilliantly - I don't think I have ever been held up there, traffic flows round it freely, people behave sensibly, giving way when that is necessary and taking the opportunity to go forward when it presents itself. It's an excellent example of leaving drivers alone to get on with it and not treating them like idiots. It's been there as long as I have which is nearly twenty years.
 
This was the last sensible decision taken by Ipswich Borough Council so far as the roads are concerned. Since then the town has been blessed with ….
 
• bus lanes which narrowed a busy four-lane road to only two, on which empty Park'n'Ride buses can merrily and pointlessly gyrate …
 
• cycle lanes which are only wide enough for the handlebars of a (small) bike so that drivers still have to pull out to pass a cyclist. It must be quite frightening for a cyclist desperately trying to keep on a straight course because cars are swishing past only a couple of inches away. What makes them even worse is the way they just disappear every few hundred yards, only to re-appear a little further on. What's a cyclist supposed to do in between? Fly?
 
• boxes labelled for cyclists only, in front of the queue at traffic lights, as if any cyclist in his right mind would squeeze down the cycle lane to the front of the queue and then sit right in front of 50 cars all itching to accelerate as soon as the lights turned green. What's he supposed to do then? Are the cars seriously expected to wait while he creaks away and gets back in the cycle lane? Dream on ….
 
• a bus route serving a residential neighbourhood on its own special path where the bus is steered by a track at the side of the road. What's that all about? Don't they trust the driver to be able to steer? He can manage it all right through the centre of town, but once he reaches the leafy suburbs where there is less traffic he suddenly becomes irrational and irresponsible, apparently? I could see the point if he could get up from his seat and go and talk to his passengers or nip out for a fag, but he still has to sit there to work the accelerator and the brakes …
 
Traffic planners? They couldn't plan their way out of a paper bag.
 
Mind you, not all traffic planners are this stupid. I had a run-in with the Highways Agency recently. I wrote and complained about some alterations they had made to a slip-road onto the dual carriageway. They replied promptly and in excellent, clear English, explaining what they'd done, why they thought they should do it, how they saw it working and how they intended to check that it did. It made complete sense, and now having used that slip-road several hundred times I am convinced that they were right.
 
More power to them! Ipswich Borough Council, perhaps you should ask them for a few pointers.
 
P.S. Have you ever driven in Paris? I have.
 
It's a total free-for-all - incredibly heavy traffic with very poor lane discipline, mixed up with jay-walking pedestrians in a busy city designed before the motor-car was even thought of. They obey traffic-lights (mostly) and occasionally stay on the right side of the road, but that's about it. Apart from that it's every man for himself. They even park on zebra crossings, and they certainly don't stop for them!
 
And you know what? It works. The traffic flows, not all the time but at least as well as in London with its rules and one-way systems and congestion charges. And in my view there's a lot less bad temper - oh, they hoot at each other and wave their arms around, but they aren't really cross, not the kick-your-door-in-and-stab-you-in-the-chest kind of crossness we seem to achieve in our worst moments.
 
The trouble with traffic planners is they think it's their job to plan the traffic!

 

 
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